Children and Divorce in Montana

Divorce is generally an extremely difficult experience, not only for each spouse, but also for any children involved.  Avoiding a battle over children is the best way to handle a divorce.  It is important to keep in mind a child's well-being during and after a divorce matter.

The following is taken from "Stepping Back from Anger: Protecting Your Children During Your Divorce," provided by Montana Family Court Services.  This section of the article is entitled "Children's Bill of Rights":

Every kid should know he or she has rights, particularly when their mom and dad are splitting up.  Below are some things parents shouldn't forget -- and kids shouldn't let them -- when the family is in the midst of a break-up.

You have the right to love both your parents. And you have the right to be loved by both of them. That means you shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to see your dad or your mom at any time. It's important for you to have both parents in your life, particularly during difficult times, such as a divorce.
You do not have to choose one parent over the other. If you have an opinion about what parent you want to live with, let it be known. But nobody can force you to make that choice. If your parents can't work it out, a judge may make the decision for them.
You're entitled to all the feelings you're having. Don't be embarrassed by what you're feeling. It's scary when your parents break up, and you're allowed to be scared. Or angry. Or sad. Or whatever.
You have the right to be in a safe environment. This means that nobody is allowed to put you in danger, either physically or emotionally. If one of your parents is hurting you, tell someone-- either your other parent or a trusted adult, like a teacher.
You don't belong in the middle of your parents' break-up.  Sometimes your parents may get so caught up in their own problems that they forget that you're just a kid, and that you can't handle their adult worries.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are still part of your life.  Even if you're living with one parent, you can still see relatives on your other parents' side. You'll always be a part of their lives, even if your parents aren't together anymore.
You have the right to be a child.  Kids shouldn't worry about adult problems. Concentrate on your school work, your friends, activities, etc. Your mom and dad just need our love. They can handle the rest.


These suggestions are important to keep in mind when struggling with a divorce when children are involved.